In an unprecedented move by the younger contingent of the map team, all of the twentysomethings bailed on today’s Mt. Sanitas hike/run/slog. A senior map team official, who granted an interview on the condition of anonymity, said the team had a variety of bad excuses for not completing the Sanitas run today.
“It’s pretty common to hear bad excuses from staffers outside of the GPS Fort,” the senior official said. “But to hear so many from the inside? Well, it’s just changed my whole perspective on the goals of this administration. I feel like we’re just giving lip service to the mountain at this point.”
In the past, the map team committed to climbing Mt. Sanitas every week and even took a page from the longtime postal service creed to claim that “rain nor sleet nor snow nor weak-ass excuses” would stop them from completing the run on a regular basis.
The senior map team official said she hopes the administration will soon hire a Sanitas Coordinator to serve as a demagogue for those who bailed.
“It is clear they need to be either tricked, taunted, or otherwise harassed into climbing this mountain,” the senior official said.
